Peter Pan, the Flying Homeboy
by Daroga's Rainy Daae
Summary: The all-modern redo of Peter Pan! It's Ghetto a'ight? Heheh. The adventures of Peter, Wendifer Lopez, DJ Mike, Johnny Boy, and most importantly; Da' Hook! (And Snoop Dawg - Smee). ENJOY! *In progress*


DRD presents...  
  
Peter Pan, the Flying Homeboy!  
  
Starring...  
  
Peter Pan: The flying homeboy  
  
Da' Hook: The bad guy  
  
Snoop Dawg: Formerly known as Smee  
  
Wendifer Lopez: Formerly known as Wendy  
  
Da' Boys in Da' House: Formerly known as the Lost Boys  
  
Johnny Boy: The intellectual adventurer  
  
DJ Mike: The youngest of the three Darling children (no pun intended)  
  
Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl: The jealous fairy who has a tendency of calling people asses  
  
The Other Homies: Who are there, but as of yet have no names because of their insignificance  
  
ENJOY!  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Chapter One: Boa', Whatchoo Doin' Cryin' On Mah Flo'?  
  
There once was a child named Wendifer Marsha Angel Darling Lopez, and she was almost as afraid to grow up as she was when people tried to say all her names in one breath. She had little problems, compared to world hunger, animal rights issues, sanitary measures, and rapper discrimination, but if you would just zoom in on her family for a second... Ah, there we go. Zoomed in on Wendifer's family, and the problems within it, this girl had many a problem to cope with. Very important, too, because normally the Darling family has no problems. As I've mentioned before, her problem was growing up.  
  
The child refused to become an adult, which was very immature. Please, as we continue this story, respect the modern slang in the dialogue the characters have picked up over time. This is a serious story, so any of you who were looking for a good laugh, turn back NOW. It's simply written in a more common language that children can understand in today's world, and the story has been adapted so all contemporary peoples can enjoy the classic. Now, we will continue; back to Wendifer.  
  
So, Wendifer was so upset about being unable to handle adult problems, she threw herself into bed and cried herself to sleep, in a very childlike manner, I might add. After being asleep for a while, a strange kid entered the bedroom through the window that had been left open, and that is where our story begins...  
  
"Shadow? Shadow, ya'll better show yo'self or I'll be slappin' yo' ass 'round," the boy said. Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl buzzed beside the boy's ear.  
  
"You silly ass," Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl remarked. "Your shadow isn't going come if you THREATEN it like that." And she flew away, in search of her friend's lost possession.  
  
"'Ey! There it is!" the boy hooted, spotting his shadow. He lunged for it, but it slipped easily from his grasp. "Come back 'ere, foo'!" The boy chased his shadow for a good fifteen minutes before finally giving up and crying on the floor.  
  
"Mah shadow! That ain't fair, yo," the boy sobbed.  
  
Wendifer, who was awaken by the crying, sat up with a start.  
  
"Boa'!" Wendifer cried, "Whatchoo doin' cryin' on mah flo'?"  
  
"I ain't cryin' on NOBODY'S flo', woman!" the boy retorted quickly.  
  
"To hell yo' not!" Wendifer snorted. "Whatchoo lookin' fo', boa'?"  
  
"Mah shadow," the boy said reluctantly. "Ah tried to slap it on wi' somma dat soap, but it didn' work."  
  
Wendifer looked at the boy apologetically. "You that Peter Pan homeboy, righ'?" she asked.  
  
"So what if ah AM?" the boy retorted.  
  
"Ah'm Wendifer Marsha Angel Darling Lopez. I like rap music. Welcome to my crib," she said.  
  
"Yeah? Nice crib yo' got hea' anywho," Peter said, scanning the room. "But ah need tuh find mah shadow! Foo' flew righ' off mah feet! And we was jus' chillin' befo'!"  
  
"Sucks," Wendifer whispered.  
  
"Darn right," Peter answered, sighing.  
  
Suddenly, the shadow revealed itself!  
  
"Mah shadow!" Peter pointed. Wendifer looked.  
  
"Get it get it get it!" Wendifer hooted. Peter lunged for the shadow and held onto it by the hair.  
  
"Whad'oo I do? Whad'oo I do!?" Peter shouted.  
  
"Chill, boa'! I got mah bad arse sewing kit!" Wendifer replied, running for a drawer. She withdrew a needle and thread, hurrying to Peter's side. "Count to three."  
  
"One - OW!" Peter yelped as Wendifer plunged her needle into his foot and sewed to shadow back onto him. "Foo'!" Peter cried, "Yo' be sewing it all crooked!"  
  
"Shut up, boa'!" Wendifer yelled back. "Ah'm done!" And she stepped back to admire her work.  
  
"Next time, wait 'til next time, mofo," Peter's shadow thought.  
  
"Thank'oo," Peter said to Wendifer.  
  
"I could give ya'll uh reward if ya' wannit," Wendifer offered.  
  
"Sho'," Peter agreed.  
  
"Ah'll give ya'll a kiss," Wendifer said humbly.  
  
"Uh kiss? Whazzat?" Peter asked.  
  
"Boa'! You tellin' me you dunno what a KISS is?" Wendifer scoffed.  
  
"Co'se I don't!" Peter said, snapping his fingers at her.  
  
"Yo' snappin' yo' fingers at me?" Wendifer cried offensively, snapping her fingers back and swiveling her head at the same time. "Boa'? Ah whuz TRYIN' to give ya'll a kiss! Behave now, ya' hea'?"  
  
"A'ight!" Peter said, giving in and holding out his hand. Not to embarass the boy, Wendifer dug around in her pocket for a thimble and gave that to Peter instead.  
  
"There's yo' kiss," Wendifer said happily.  
  
"No french, woman?" Peter asked.  
  
"Whazzat?" Wendifer wondered aloud, not hearing Peter clearly.  
  
"Nuffink. Thanks," Peter said.  
  
"Now ah can give'oo a thimble," Wendifer announced, shoving her face up close to Peter's.  
  
"Gal! Now dat's mo' LIKE it!" Peter cheered, about to kiss the girl, but Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl tore them apart.  
  
"What's wrong witchoo!" Peter exploded, batting at Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl. "Get lost, sista friend!"  
  
"I'm not your sister friend," Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl shot. "Silly ass." And she zoomed off to a remote part of the room to mope.  
  
"Come wit' me," Peter said suddenly to Wendifer.  
  
"Whe'a at?" Wendifer asked.  
  
"Yo Neva Neva Land! It's BAD!" Peter hooted.  
  
"Iffitz bad, den I duwanna go," Wendifer said.  
  
"Naw, not bad, gal! BAD! B - A - D - D - E! Da good bad!" Peter explained.  
  
"A'ight! Ah see! Let's go, den!" Wendifer cheered. Then she noticed her brothers asleep in their beds. "But wha' about DJ Mike and Johnny Boy?"  
  
"WHO?" Peter asked.  
  
"'Da homies in dere beds!" Wendifer replied. Peter looked.  
  
"Oh... DEM..." he thought on it. "'Da brotha's can come, too!"  
  
"Ye-ye-ee!" Peter and Wendifer shouted, waking the boys up.  
  
"Whozzat!?" DJ Mike cried, sitting up with a start.  
  
"Ye-ye-ee me from mah bed, yo BETTER have a good reason fo' wakin' me up, Dubuyuh!" Johnny Boy said.  
  
"Dun call me dat, foo'!" Wendifer shot. "Dis is Peter! 'Da flyin' homeboy! He's go'an take us tuh Neva Neva Land!"  
  
"Ye-ye-ee!" DJ Mike and Johnny Boy yelled in delight.  
  
"How's we go'an get dere?" Johnny Boy asked.  
  
"You's go'an FLY, foo'!" Peter retorted. "Jus' tink of sumthin' y'all likes doin' o' sumthin' 'appy, and jump!"  
  
"Sho' thing, brotha!" the three kids said, and they all thought, jumped, and fell.  
  
"Yo messin' wit' mah head, boa'!" Wendifer said to Peter, angrily.  
  
"Nah, nah, sista! I was jus' playin' witcha! Y'all need Pixie dust!" Peter laughed. "Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl! C'mere a sec'!"  
  
Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl reluctantly flew up beside Peter.  
  
"What do you want, Peter?" Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl asked suspiciously.  
  
"Pixie dust 'em!" Peter demanded, pointing at the three eagerly awaiting children.  
  
"No," Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl said.  
  
"What you sayin' no fo', sista!?" Peter whined.  
  
"NO," Yo Tinkerbell Homegirl insisted.  
  
Peter grabbed her and shook her above the children's heads when she wasn't looking, and let Yo Dizzy Tinkerbell Homegirl free.  
  
"You're impossible," Yo Tinkberbell Homegirl grumbled, eyes swirling every which way.  
  
"Thank 'oo, Tink!" Peter shouted after her.  
  
"Yeah, sista!" Wendifer and the boys added.  
  
"Now; we fly!" Peter cried.  
  
"Darn right!" the three children added.  
  
"Out dat dere window!" Peter said, pointing to it.  
  
"DAT dere window!" the children added.  
  
Peter soared out the open window. The children tried to do the same, but ended up bonking their heads.  
  
"Me first, foo'!" Wendifer shouted.  
  
"I'm da' youngest!" DJ Mike cried.  
  
"Outta da way, Dubuyuh!" Johnny Boy growled.  
  
*  
  
END OF CHAPTER ONE  
  
*  
  
A/N: Liked it? Hated it? Long chapter? Too long? Too confuzzling? TELL ME! :D :D :D :D 


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